I wrote the following in one burst, debated myself if it's worth sharing. The voice of No says it's rough draft, could be a couple different articles, meanders. The voice of Yes says says it's interesting and useful to share writing as it is. I decided to add this intro section and few section headings as compromise.

What follows is a little of what happens in my mind as I write and practice freewriting. It's freewriting about freewriting that grows into thoughts about finding creative voice.

Ready, set, freewrite!

Full on freewriting practice.

The stuff inside gets let outside by the process, at least that's what happens for me fairly consistently. Sometimes I get silly meanderings and non sequiturs. The fun combination of thoughts that goes somewhere to play. Glad when that happens, welcome it. Also glad when the off-task just what I'm feeling things come up.

The things that I hope, wonder, worry, wish for and wish not.

Conflicts. Learning. Stressful concepts. Goals. All the big things and stuff I don't pay attention to while being on-task.

Intentional Writing Scheduled Deliveries vs. Discovery

My goal is to produce workshop segments and portions of a few books I have plans and goals for. The main focus book is about UX Mindset. If I were to keep on task with my writing it would mostly be about UX Mindset. If I stick to it there's a kind of scalable gravity and granular focus where I keep getting closer and closer to the matter and lose sight of the bigger picture that it's one project planet in my solar system of products and projects.

Sticking with the metaphor, this project planetary system works well for me when I fly between them and get some development, research, learning, project management sessions on each in turn.

When I'm at my most comfortable and confident I don't mind planning which planet to visit in which order for how long.

But it doesn't always work in practice.

I get pulled in to hyper-focus. I'm fully invested in being where I am and see only that project. And that's where I re-experience tensions with creative habits and creative demons. I mentioned recently that I really love the early conceptual phase of a project's creative cycle. I do. I excel in that space and it feels good so I like to be there often.

Expressing With My Voice Not Just Ideas

So with freewriting I get to be in the generative creative space. Like scheduling time to go visit a park, packing with me a few things to be able to enjoy the park. I'm ready to sit down and write and have a few paths I like to take with the writing. I'm open for it to go into goal oriented places or side paths of any kind. Any kind of writing practice is an investment in getting more skillful with the mechanics, ideas, and expression of my own writing voice.

A few weeks ago a friend told me that he could hear me when he read my blog. My voice would appear in his head as he read some of my posts, sometimes bold and other times muted.

This is the magic I wish to grasp. Will my voice be imbued in these words or do they read like signage? This amount of self concern is something I avoid in goal based writing. Which means I'm not as practiced with it as I'd like.

To have an intuitive grasp on a creative practice is admirable. It's the kind of sound you see and feel when a musician fully is the music they express. The whole self, is fully there and knowable yet all selfish sense and concerns disappear.

When I hear my friend heard my voice I am in an elevated state, my heart races and my eyes bulge-squint looking around me because I pulled of a trick while trying to learn it. Played the song with feeling, did the skateboard ollie, rode a wheelie on my BMX after trying dozens of times and failing.

The first wheelie, means it's in me to do a wheelie. Now to unlock more.