Listening in Different Ways: Human, Consultant, Leader, Coach, Facilitator

Making sense of a situation, working to build an understanding is real work. This post is about being intentional with a few different kinds of listening.

Listening is real work.

Listening is a real action. Listening is more than something happening near you and you having some general idea about what's going on. Listening is to gather and assemble concepts in a way that you can represent them and reflect them back in a way that shows understanding and connection.

Listening isn't always simple or easy. We all can get in the way of our own listening and understanding. Hidden complexity, quirky human nature of what takes captures our attention, imagination, and what we say in the moment to talk about all factor into our listening situation. And where we are as listeners collectively all feed into: did something useful happen getting together to discuss a matter?

Kinds of Listening

Listening like a caring human.

Listening like a caring human looks like being attentive, nodding, reflecting, connecting with empathy. You have and show an awareness that is clear you're with this person right here and now. You are holding attentive space, present and accepting, meeting someone where they are.

Obvious agenda: connection, empathy, compassion, helping others, building trust.

Listening like a consultant.

Listening like a consultant who is ready to understand and solve a particular need.

Consultants have a mission with and boundaries and principled service. To make that happen consultants have a process to get started, then a process to make the value happen, and finally a process to close/recognize/finalize the project.

Obvious agenda: defining a problem to solve, being recognized and chosen to solve a problem.

Listening like a leader.

You are a supporter of a combination of agendas about the organization, the team, and serving the people you lead to learn and grow. Leaders have responsibility to setup others for success, making the whole greater than the sum of parts. Leaders build trust.

Listening like a leader can look like reminding of priorities and goals. It can look like understanding others and in turn working to be understood to help reach clear commitments for shared purpose.

Obvious agenda: caring about people, responsibilities, clear understanding. Caring about a big picture seeing people do what helps them grow. Celebrate people and outcomes.

Listening like a coach.

It looks like someone listening deeply. You're present to help someone think through a problem without your other roles and agenda getting in the way. I have a whole workshop about coaching that's actually called: Listening Like a Coach.

Obvious agenda: to have no agenda. To navigate with-not-for to discover what a coachee wants, what's in the way, what's next to do.

Listening like a facilitator.

Listening like a facilitator is a connective role. Hearing and taking note of the honest essence of what people are sharing. You might have another role on the team but as facilitator you are representing everyone not just that role.

Facilitating listening looks like becoming a shared scribe, sounding board, and metaphorical mirror to reflect what's being said. And you're trying to connect and group ideas in an accountable inclusive way.

Obvious agenda: build and celebrate shared understanding. Then in some forms of gatherings to communicate and manage the flow to keep the group moving on an agenda.

Only five?

Five is enough to notice examples of different listening styles. Each of these listening modes functions and looks a little different which is why I give them a separate title. In practical use you'll notice yourself and others using more than one at a time.

Taking Notes to Listen

Also: taking notes isn't required to listen, but it can help. Listening that way is a kind of knowledge building activity. Next week's Lean Into Art podcast is a mini workshop where we talk about listening and note taking in group meetings both for you and for group facilitation.

Worth mentioning, I link to the show frequently but don't say directly often: add the Lean Into Art podcast to your podcast subscribing app of choice and get weekly episodes of deeply thoughtful, positive, art maker conversations and mini workshops about things we and our open welcoming growing community find useful.

Closing With a Question

What other modes and agendas do you have on your listening styles list?